POLL: Who is the Boss in Your House?

[MrPlum]

One attraction of Thailand for me was the clear roles between men and women in Asia. The battle of the sexes constantly leads to conflict and divorce, in the west and I personally sought a relationship here, where a man could be a man without having to constantly defer to the 'other half'.

So, it is curious to me that I keep seeing comments like 'long-haired general' or 'she who must be obeyed', as if some men WANT to be dominated and they are proud of being so.

I met one golfing buddy recently whose wife suggested to him that he give her all his money and she gives him a daily allowance of 100 thb. He bought a new golf club and was almost terrified she would find out. It is HIS money, yet he seeks her permission for everything.

Another has invested millions of baht in houses, cars, and so on. Everything is in his wife's name. He admits he has left himself extremely vulnerable.

In these two cases, if it wasn't for the men, these ladies would have nothing.

Being the head of the household doesn't mean you are some kind of tyrant. To me the man is 'King' and the woman 'Queen'. Each make their own contributions but the man still has the final word. Go to Russia and men are admired for their strength. Women almost force you to be a man and make all the decisions.

So come on, without defensive abuse. Why are some men so willing to hand over their power here in Thailand?

[buksida]

Good question, though I doubt very much you'll get honest answers from those wearing the marigolds ...

[Big Boy]

We generally share most decisions, but if in doubt, I will normally follow Mrs BB's 'advice' .

[richard]

Well I used to get sick of the phrase 'up to you'. Seems I am the boss until something goes wrong.

So now from me it's 'where do you want to eat tonight darling it's up to you' without a pause. Doesn't always work though. The sooner you learn it's always your fault the better.

All in all, I agree with the OP. Roles are far more clearly defined and understood here in Asia than the western world.

In my case the kitchen, house and food shopping are not my domain. What I wear, where I go on my tod is up to me. Suits me fine

[Paderborn]

Hi all
Without doubt.....The dog!!!
She has me nicely trained to bring her ball back!

Paderborn

[Pleng]

So, it is curious to me that I keep seeing comments like 'long-haired general' or 'she who must be obeyed', as if some men WANT to be dominated and they are proud of being so.

This also confuses me. Why come half way around to the world to end up in a position you could have easily gotten yourself into back home?

Having said that, in my relationship I take my girlfriend to work and pick her up nearly every day - but that's because I enjoy doing so. I like the journey to pick her up, followed by finding somewhere to eat together. But it's not something I am obliged to do - if I have other plans, or I really don't feel like going out then she's quite capable of fending for herself. I'm never obliged to go to go and hang out with her(/our, but mostly her) friends when she decides to go out and I never need to ask permission to go out. That's not to say I just do what the hell I feel like; obviously there's a mutual respect between us so I wouldn't just go out on the booze if she was feeling unwell or had had a particularly bad day at work etc.

Mind you I was never the type to get into the "have to ask permission" sort of relationship back in blighty either. Perhaps some people find some kind of comfort in having somebody to answer to?

[hhfarang]

Like BB, We generally share most decisions and if we don't agree we usually go with her advice, however, that has gotten me into (financial) difficulties on more than one occasion.

[sargeant]

As Mr P has picked this up from my "she who must be obeyed" "overgripping fuhrer" "er indoors" he obviously never watched Rumpole of the Bailey.

It is pretty obvious that on all matters that do NOT MATTER i let my wife decide.
on all matters that REALLY MATTER it is a joint decision
On Matters that REALLY MATTER and that we do not agree MY Decision is final. ( under threat of ATM removal) havent had one yet
I also think it depends on ones partner and the strength of the relationship/TRUST
It also depends on ones financial security
I do not care a toss as long as my food is there my house and clothes are clean and all bills are paid
Because my income keeps on coming month on month and if everything went tits up i get out and start again
a very painful lesson only learnt 2 years ago

[sargeant]

When a guy says he definitely wears the trousers what he actually means is


He decides to WASH the DISHES--------BEFORE------HE IS TOLD TO

[buksida]

You've got to remember the golden rule in this situation: "who makes the gold makes the rules".

[richard]

Now that us macho men have spouted, comments from the ladies please

[sargeant]

The guy who voted "she must be obeyed "

Is the guy who when his wife says MOVE lifts up his feet and lies on the settee so she can sweep and mop the floor
When she says take those clothes of it doesnt mean sex it means she is doing the washing

He is also the guy who wakes up and wonders how the hell such a beautiful fit young girl is sleeping on a daily basis with him and is not so stupid as to let his ego screw it up

[Lung Per]

The bearer of the clam is always the boss. However, the intelligent woment pretends that the man is the boss. But we know better.....

[sargeant]

Age also plays a big part in how relationships evolve as to who controls what take sex for instance

A young man goes to the bedroom and shouts to the wife get in here i am horny and she comes running
A middle aged couple go to bed and he asks do you feel like a tumble dear and sometimes they do and sometimes she has a headache
An old man (like me) waits patiently until young nubile wife puts a kamagra gel or a viagara tablet in his hand he then knows if she wants it in half an hour or in two hours time



got to go its a gel today

[sand_dancer]

Age also plays a big part in how relationships evolve as to who controls what take sex for instance

A young man goes to the bedroom and shouts to the wife get in here i am horny and she comes running
A middle aged couple go to bed and he asks do you feel like a tumble dear and sometimes they do and sometimes she has a headache
An old man (like me) waits patiently until young nubile wife puts a kamagra gel or a viagara tablet in his hand he then knows if she wants it in half an hour or in two hours time



got to go its a gel today

Thanks for the chuckle