THE EXPENDABLES 2
A second outing for Sly, Jason and the gang. The creepy CIA contact Mr Church blackmails Sly into taking a young safebreaker deep into enemy territory so she can open up a CIA safe that is unfortunately deep inside bandit country on a crashed plane. There he and the boys run into a pack of psychotic satanist bandits (not kidding) led by Jean Claude Van Damme who are interested in the contents of the safe as well, and in the process of obtaining it off one of Sly's mates. So Sly and the lads set out to kick some ass, blow things up, crash big stuff into bigger stuff, kill the baddies and generally save the day whilst cracking a few wry one liners and riffing on the action movie genre.
It soon turns into a who's who of action film stars, with Arnie, Brucie, Jean, Jet, Dolf and even sad sack old Chuck Norris all showing up to join in the game of who's the hardest action hero. The body count hits three figures in the first reel, and its just one long shoot em up from there on in. A real no brainer....but hey its also a lot of fun and thrills as well, and some of the Arnie shnappy vun liners and self mickeytaking references are a laugh. The other hilarity is the facefull after facefull of bad cosmetic surgery, Arnies orange permatan and shockwig toupee, and deciding which one of our once proud and handsome hero types looks the worst. My vote is for Dolf, who has gone from the smooth carved features of Rocky Russian to someone who looks like they've been washing their face with a bead blaster hose. No wonder young lad Jason Stratham grins his ass off all the way through.
I liked it, even if it was as dumb as a bag of spanners, and its definitely a keeper. Its thick as an Ascot toffs enclosure, and tissue thin as the wrapper on a toffee, but its a three cheers thriller all the way.
Out and about in a very watchable R5 DVDRIP.
And then theres the found footage (yes.....another one) horror flick
GRAVE ENCOUNTERS 2
Now, you recall, or not, that the first film was about the makers of a hokey Discovery Channel style ghost encounter show who go to film in an abandoned insane asylum that is supposedly haunted, and find that the building is "alive" and full of nasty vengeful spirits of patients expermented on by a satan worshipping head doctor..... yep, just about every horror flick cliche in one bundle.
Well, 2 picks up a few years on, and a GE obsessed film student convinces his mates that his conspiracy theory that 1 was a real incident and they set off to find the apparently disappeared film crew and hospital, guided by an anonymous online source. And off to the hospital they go.... and you can guess what happens then. Its just another found footage horror, and although it adds a few novel twists to the reasoning behind the premise, it sticks to the format, and thats a weakness built into all of these films. If you havent seen the first one most of what goes on in this is a bit meaningless. Thats another weakness.
So, a few jump out of your seat shocks interspersed with lots of annoying teenagers and shaky cam work.
Worth a watch if you like the genre, otherwise it aint. Personally I would recc instead you watch the vastly superior Japanese "found footage" film NOROI: THE CURSE whch you can find easily on YouTube. That, like most asian cinema, is better for one main reason.... it actually has a complex plot that you need to pay attention to.
One cheer to GE2 for effort

"Science flew men to the moon. Religion flew men into buildings."
"To sin by silence makes cowards of men."