Thai Men. How do they think?

[MrPlum]

There are so many young Thai women, with children abandoned by the father/husband/boyfriend, it prompts me to ask why? Is it just a certain section of society, or across the board? Is it due to the men being unable to support a family? Or the women being unable to support the men?

What factors create this situation?

[Takiap]

I hate to say this......but I think it boils down to a pig-arrogant attitude problem. In a hurry now as I need to bath the kids and etc, but will elaborate when I get a moment.

[Spitfire]

I could take a huge 'broadside' at this one and so could many others on here.

Arrogance...........contempt.........because they can..........society norms that they fashionably follow.....lack of discipline and responsibility.........selfishness......the list is endless and unfortunately all the wrong qualities that are abound everywhere that you see everyday.

But really I'd say that in-a-nutshell it's the family upbringing they receive (or lack thereof), ie the 'Little Emperor' syndrome that 'Little Billy' can do no wrong and never gets in trouble, makes monsters of them and they are churned out on factory production line levels.

Through this they believe they are the best and cannot be wrong etc, thus pandering to their perceived deluded idea that they have face as they are special.

I can see the complete lack of discipline in university/college students everyday that show up an hour late to classes because they see it as they have paid their money for their degree and it should be handed over as if they were in a 7-11 buying a pack of crisps.

Facebook is more important than learning.

Got pages worth of stuff on this one.

[Roel]

It is the typical Thai not-thinking-ahead thing I guess. Also many Thai women tend to get their first child at a very young age. Probably the father is very young too. After a while he finds out he cannot support and provide, so running off is the easy way out. That way you loose face once instead of every day.

On the other hand these young mothers are the ones that end up in the bar scene, so they are over-represented when it comes to meeting and hooking up with farangs.

I do not think that in an average Thai household where the man has a decent job and there is no real financial trouble it happens more often than in the west.

[richard]

IMO it is a Thai cultural thing.

The daughters stay home and care for the family (old and young). My wife is the youngest of 14 and had to stay home to look after her parents. No marriage or disappearing off until the parents had gone up in smoke. In exchange she alone inherited the house and land

The sons are almost encouraged to demonstrate their prowess and produce more children to support the family so they travel round the province screwing everything in sight and the end result in attached to the family

Many times I've been asked by Thais why my hard working daughters in the UK do not send papa money to take care. Needless to say I'm when I try to explain the western scenario

Families (in Isaan) don't want to rock the boat. The men can eat beef and turtles, but the women can't cos it makes them infertile

AND of course I'm just a dumb farang and know nothing but I still love em

[hhfarang]

I think this goes along with the thread about disciplining a Thai boy. If you discipline your children properly you probably won't have problems with them as adults. Simple really, but people let their kids run all over them these days...

[richard]

I think this goes along with the thread about disciplining a Thai boy. If you discipline your children properly you probably won't have problems with them as adults. Simple really, but people let their kids run all over them these days...

HHF

East is east and west is west and never......................

Think you are thinking western logic in an eastern country

I don't think Thai families have problems with their children. However I do know and I have been in the same situation, where as a farang father you expect some degree of western style discipline. It will just not work. You end up being the rogue.

In a totally Thai family environment they get so much attention as babies and children, at school they are indoctrinated with the culture that the family come first, so they go out into their world focusing on pleasing the family and I know of very few families where the farang is considered as a 'real' part of the family

WE will always be aliens and walking ATM's. Just read the forums and papers about disputes between couples who were happily together a few months back. I've met more disasters than success stories

[buksida]

Its too easy to generalize on this thread, as Roel said, in an average Thai household where the father is working it doesn't happen as often as with some of the examples us farangs are more likely to see.

[johnnyk]

We shouldn't generalize, though. Most Thai men we encounter are not educated middle class people who generally make stable family lives. Its the ill-educated rural layabouts and moto taxi guys who disappear when they hear the word 'pregnant'. Within that segment short-term advantage is all, they are never taught responsibility. "I'm on top right now" is the attitude. Future, what's that? Never heard of it. They seem to live lives that are a series of random occurrences rather than a continuum. Buddhism is fatalistic. To think one can control one's life would be considered absurd. To me that is one of the fundamental bedrock differences between most Thais and westerners.

[curlybaggie]

it sounds no different to britain really, there are thousands of young girls over here who are single parents. it's very common to see a girl with 2 or 3 children all sired by different fathers. i think its a career choice with some of them.

[caller]

it's very common to see a girl with 2 or 3 children all sired by different fathers.

How do you know that? Are you from Merthyr Tydfil?

[STEVE G]

....i think its a career choice with some of them.

I'm afraid that you're very close to the truth with that in the UK and the fact that it's such an easy option is perhaps the greatest single failing of the last Labour government.

[ste860]

in the village my wifes from ,most married women and men work in different towns and cities,its down to having to travel where the work is,so sometimes the only time they are together as a family is at songkran or xmas ,while they are away working any children they have are left in the village with family to look after them,there is no decent education for these children so they therefore can never really get a decent education ,and are past from piller to post,
the parents seldom spend time with the children or each other apart from holiday times,
life for most thais is really nothing like the western world and trying to compare or mix the two is impossible,what you see in hua hin or any other holiday resort is not the real deal,
one problem i do see with thai men is there is a drink problem with many ,they tend to drink more than western men and they dont seem to know when to stop,and this leads to problems in the home
and eventually the wife leaves hence. .

[migrant]

I've seen similarities when I used to go to Central America. Many of the "village" men would drink rather than work, and trade in women once they hit 25 for a younger model.

As I met middle class couples there was much less of that, but the men did still sneak out from time to time.

[caller]

the fact that it's such an easy option is perhaps the greatest single failing of the last Labour government.

You have to go back further than that Steve.