Foster Care

[PeteC]

A mine field of a subject along with adoption here but wanted to talk about it.

A little background in that the wife and I were watching the fireworks in Pattaya last weekend and began to discuss more children. She can't have anymore as she had cervical cancer and has had most of her female insides removed. I'm getting old as well. Regardless we are in a position to give a child a loving and secure home, a good education and a head start in life here. Our little 5 year old would benefit from having a sibling as well.

I think we've discussed on here that adoption in Thailand into a family with a farang parent is extremely difficult and takes years. My wife indicates that if you go and talk to the head Monk at most Wats, they have a list of families who would be more than happy to give up a baby son or daughter into the care of a good family. She indicates that this happens all the time Thai to Thai and the recipient is many times not related at all, just a friend of the family. The child is then easily put in the receiving family's house book. I don't know the legalities and pitfalls of something like that though. There has to be some kind of legal documents or you possibly open yourself up to demands and interference from the birth parents/family.

Has anyone attempted or know about formal foster care, adoption or the unorthodox Thai approach mentioned above? Pete

[migrant]

Hi Pete,

I, too, am interested. My wife has not had kids, and I've been well....clipped.

We started to look into adoption but found a restriction based upon the Fathers age (I'm 53).

Of course in Thailand anything can happen so I, too, look forward to any experiences

[Amarita]

I think that Thailand has very strict rules for
adoption to farangs. Esc. when you live abroad.
But I will guess that foster care is more easy
if you are living in Thailand.
In most EU countries you will have to be
accepted as an adoption family first. And there
are so many rules; age, health, economy,size
of your home, education.
But again, I dont know the intern rules if you
are married to a Thai and live there.
I really think a surrogate mother is easier.

[margaretcarnes]

Oh Boy! Surrogate mother? In Thailand? Sorry but that sounds like 'can of worms' territory to me - as money would be involved of course.

Even the 'unorthodox' Wat arrangements Pete mentions seem a bit odd. Is money involved with those as well Pete? If so I would be very suspicious about mothers perhaps selling babies to the monks - as I'm sure has crossed your mind too.
On the other hand, should those babies be treated any differently to any others needing adoption? A bit of a moral dilemma.

Hopefully the whole process may well be easier for a farang with a Thai wife - but most on here will know that Dawn is probably one of the best to comment on foster care. I don't know if she managed to ever get her little Thai boy into the UK, but know it was proving very difficult at the time.

[margaretcarnes]

Sorry - Senior Moment there - what about approaching the Mercy House orphanage?

[migrant]

I wanted to resurrect this thread since the subject has come up again by Mrs M.

Pete, have you done any more investigation into this?

Perhaps some others on the board know more?

We are still in the states so probably next to impossible but thought I'd ask again.

[E-Dork]

If you are looking to adopt, the main reason is because you are unable to have a child of your own and yearn for an extra member to the family to love and cherish, so.... if the Thai system is not to helpful on this issue... does it have to be a Thai child? Other countries are easier to adopt and visa issues for a child studying are not that bad here. So if you had a foster child from abroad the first 21 years of their life are pretty much sorted visa wise.

Just a thought.

[migrant]

You are right, it doesn't have to be a Thai child but that was my wife's preference.

We are looking into options here, but figured I'd cover my odds by asking again!

[E-Dork]

I respect the fact that you are giving this thought anyways... could turn out that what was once gonna be be a parentless chilld living a very poor upbringing is gifted a better life.

Good luck with this matter and keep us informed.

[PeteC]

No, nothing further has transpired. As we look at it now, it is a bit of a high risk for any child. I'm 61 now and the wife is only 2 years post op cancer with a 5 year period needed to in a relatively safe way say she is cancer free and will remain that way, at least for the type she had. A child could find himself or herself with one or no parents before maturity. So, the wife has instead busied herself with a ton of charity work with kids at a variety of homes and HIV hospices in the area. Pete

[migrant]

the wife has instead busied herself with a ton of charity work with kids at a variety of homes and HIV hospices in the area. Pete

Very nice!!!

[Takiap]

I can say for certain, but I would guess it is difficult to adopt a Thai child, even if you're married to a Thai woman. The Thais are extremely nationalistic, and I somehow think they would see it as loosing face - not being capable of caring for their own, and etc.

Saying that, I've read some really sad reports regarding adoption in the UK, where applicants have been refused because one potential parent is overweight, or because one is a smoker. Really doesn't make sense to me at all. It seems the authorities are more concerned with pathetic rules and red tape than they are with the kid in question. I mean, just because you eat too much, doesn't mean your child is going to, and I'm sure there are many such couples who would be able to give a child a fantastic life, especially when compared to spending their entire life in a children's home.

Unfortunately, rules and regulations can sometimes cause more harm than good.

Who knows, I may be able to post better advice at some point, considering the wife has mentioned the same thing once or twice.