Thai Men. How do they think?

[BaaBaa.]

I think the thread title could've done without the " How"

[dtaai-maai]

A provocative thread with some interesting responses. My initial reaction is that single parenting is hardly a problem unique to Thailand, and at least there tends to be a lot more support from the extended family here. Some stats would be interesting, but only if they were accurate...
I'm solidly in the middle of this crowd.

It is the typical Thai not-thinking-ahead thing I guess. Also many Thai women tend to get their first child at a very young age. Probably the father is very young too. After a while he finds out he cannot support and provide, so running off is the easy way out. ...
...I do not think that in an average Thai household where the man has a decent job and there is no real financial trouble it happens more often than in the west.

Its too easy to generalize on this thread, as Roel said, in an average Thai household where the father is working it doesn't happen as often as with some of the examples us farangs are more likely to see.

We shouldn't generalize, though. Most Thai men we encounter are not educated middle class people who generally make stable family lives. Its the ill-educated rural layabouts and moto taxi guys who disappear when they hear the word 'pregnant'. Within that segment short-term advantage is all, they are never taught responsibility. "I'm on top right now" is the attitude. Future, what's that? Never heard of it. They seem to live lives that are a series of random occurrences rather than a continuum.

it sounds no different to britain really, there are thousands of young girls over here who are single parents. it's very common to see a girl with 2 or 3 children all sired by different fathers. i think its a career choice with some of them.

And I think ste860's post is very relevant to Thailand's "working class":

in the village my wifes from ,most married women and men work in different towns and cities,its down to having to travel where the work is,so sometimes the only time they are together as a family is at songkran or xmas ,while they are away working any children they have are left in the village with family to look after them,there is no decent education for these children so they therefore can never really get a decent education ,and are past from piller to post,
the parents seldom spend time with the children or each other apart from holiday times,
life for most thais is really nothing like the western world and trying to compare or mix the two is impossible,what you see in hua hin or any other holiday resort is not the real deal,
one problem i do see with thai men is there is a drink problem with many ,they tend to drink more than western men and they dont seem to know when to stop,and this leads to problems in the home
and eventually the wife leaves hence. .

[margaretcarnes]

it sounds no different to britain really, there are thousands of young girls over here who are single parents. it's very common to see a girl with 2 or 3 children all sired by different fathers. i think its a career choice with some of them.

I think the difference is that with young mums in the UK it is often THEIR choice to breed like rabbits. It should be easy for them to obtain contraception - the morning after pill - even abortion - they just don't seem to bother very much. And there is no stigma in having a few kids with different Dads - just the reward of a Council flat and Child Tax Credit. (Even special classes for school aged Mums.)
But before I go on a rant about all that, the situation in Thailand I think is quite the opposite. Women are - to some extent - still subservient, and that is cultural. OK it doesn't happen so much now in the professional working classes, but you only have to look around and see all the phallic symbols to realise that the male is worshipped because of his reproductive tackle.
Along with that goes the age old automatic superiority of a male child over his sisters - and even over his Mother - and these lads grow up to believe they can do whatever they want.
It still shows to an extent in older Thai men, and I've known some (mainly police, which adds to the authority image) who have pestered and followed farang women in HH relentlessly.

[johnnyk]

Thai women start out with the odds against them and have to be so smart and tough to get anywhere at all. Thai girls are raised to serve men. Totally cultural, only Thais can change it. No amount of politically correct whinging, foot-stomping and hand-wringing will change what has been in place for eons. Its one of the roots of the Thai sex industry.

[PeteC]

Thai women start out with the odds against them and have to be so smart and tough to get anywhere at all. Thai girls are raised to serve men. Totally cultural, only Thais can change it. No amount of politically correct whinging, foot-stomping and hand-wringing will change what has been in place for eons. Its one of the roots of the Thai sex industry.

....and that results in many sleepless nights for those of us with daughters here, especially those of us who may not be around to see them reach 21. There's always the hope this place will evolve in the right direction...or not. The West now is deteriorating as we discuss on here almost daily. Who knows what it will be like in circa 2025+-. On a regular basis I preach to my wife that if I'm not around, let her go to the West if that's what she wants. Don't do a typical Thai Mother routine and make her feel guilty that she has to stay here and take care of you in your old age. Give her the life that she wants. So far the wife agrees. I hope it stays that way. Pete

[hhfarang]

Congrats Pete on the purple chilis!

Sorry,

[MrPlum]

...you only have to look around and see all the phallic symbols to realise that the male is worshipped because of his reproductive tackle.

Katoeys don't seem to be impressed. Where are these symbols?

No amount of politically correct whinging, foot-stomping and hand-wringing will change what has been in place for eons.

Not interested in change, myself. As a man, it's better than the western media ideal of strong women kicking weak, passive, men's rears. When the Thai g/f see's this twisted reality, she says "This movie, stupid. Not real!"

Not sure about the Thai conditioning, which portrays women as scheming bitches and dark-skinned maids being mistreated. I don't watch them, so I may have that wrong.

[redzonerocker]

the fact that it's such an easy option is perhaps the greatest single failing of the last Labour government.

You have to go back further than that Steve.

Yep, a lot further

[STEVE G]

Yes, it's perhaps the failing of other governments as well as the last one but it's a crazy system nevertheless.

[Lung Per]

I think the thread title could've done without the " How"

I couldn't agree more completely!

[MrPlum]

I think the thread title could've done without the " How"

I couldn't agree more completely!

In the rough and tumble of forum life, we 'falangs' can generally insult each other without consequence. However, this title would almost certainly draw Thais attention. I may be wrong but a little self-restraint might be wise.

[johnnyk]

Isn't it amazing how the thoughtless, thick Thais can "sell" land to smart, thinking falangs. They keep the land and get the money, too, while einstein falang thinks he owns it.

[BaaBaa.]

^

Nobody said they were thick.

[MrPlum]

I would agree that girls in the UK have been turned into 'sluts'. The trashing of our culture by Hollywood and the media has been a great success, for which they must be very proud.

I recall reading an article which stated that outside Pattaya and other hot spots, Thai women were very conservative. If girls were found to be 'working' they could never go back to their villages and some have in fact been killed. Yet, unmarried mothers don't have the same stigma. Or do they?

[Roel]

If girls were found to be 'working' they could never go back to their villages

Must disagree there.
I think most of them go back sooner or later.
And when an uneducated farmer's daughter goes to Pattaya and years later returns as a relatively wealthy person of course everybody knows what has been going on. She did NOT find a well paid office job. Conform Thai tradition nobody is going to bring up the subject though, so everybody can go on with their lives.

Problems might arise if the girl returns and has become arrogant and walks around in her old village with an attitude. But as long as she behaves as expected and uses her money to support children, family and parents instead of showing off with gold and gadgets, the villagers will all think of her as a good person who did and is doing the right thing.